


Medics Log

by BossBot97



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Depression, I swear., Imma sucker for a happy ending., Mentioned rape roleplay, Suicide Attempt, They're just friends, They're my OTP. I give.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 15:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BossBot97/pseuds/BossBot97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ratchet is severely depressed....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stardate 21147  
I almost did it. I locked myself in the most remote storage room I could find with a bottle and syringe. Wheeljack walked in, almost jovially, and grabbed my wrist. I didn't offer more than token resistance. He twisted my arm around, revealing my suicide attempt. His optics filled with surprise and horror. "Ratchet?" His voice pierced me in a way I thought nothing could. Days upon days, weeks upon weeks, I'd been operating on unlucky mechs, mechs unlucky enough to survive the battles, and none of them hit me like this. He didn't condemn me, knowing what I tried to do. He lifted me up. He tried to understand.

He sat with me on the storage room floor the rest of shift.


	2. Chapter 2

Stardate 21148  
For the first time in a very long time, I did not wake up alone. Wheeljack's comforting presence at my back felt perfect. I despaired of getting up, of going back to work, of being successful...  
Jack's hand stroked my side. "I'll always be here for you. I need you to be here for me." he said. Always is a long time. I'm not sure I can trust it, not yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Stardate 21164   
I saw the Ark's registrar today. Jack's on it. I'm not. I guess 'always' isn't as long as I thought.

Wheeljack didn't come to bed tonight...


	4. Chapter 4

Stardate 21165  
I woke to a cold, empty bed and a note.

My dearest Ratchet,  
I'm very sorry I could not tell you this in person, but I got you and Aid on the Ark. I told you always, and I meant it.  
-With Love,  
Wheeljack.  
PS I attached the new roster.  
1 Attachment - Ark Registrar (Prowl Approved).docx

That's the first time he said he loved me. Maybe it will all work out for the best....


	5. Chapter 5

Stardate 21225

We've been on the Ark for a few decaorns now. Wheeljack has his own quarters here, but he doesn't use them. I get his snuggles, all night, every night. Every night we share a bed, and he's never made a move.

I'm almost scared he will.


	6. Chapter 6

Stardate 21227

I was kept after shift by reports today. Today marks the first day Wheeljack entered my medbay under his own power, not carrying one of his own limbs. He sat on the bed next to my station and simply stared at me. It was very unnerving.  
"Something I can help you with?" I asked.  
"Yes." He replied. His voice was like silk...  
I finished the rest of the reports with him starting at me. I turned the computer off, giving Jack my full attention. He hooked a digit in my collar and dragged me to bed.

He frightened me, but I welcomed the control.

Why?


	7. Chapter 7

Stardate 35549

Our ship was hijacked.  
We've been unconscious for nearly eleven millennia, on an uncharted organic planet.  
Jack's still buried.   
Jazz is buried.

Prowl found his way into my bed tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

Stardate 35552

Jazz had been found. 3 minibots and 5 frontliners were unearthed to date.

All of the reasons I have to live are still buried.

I don't allow myself an off shift. There's no point. Without Wheeljack, without First Aid, I don't know what to do with myself. I can't even sleep without a warm body... I need to log this before I fall into stasis. Smokescreen insists. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it almost makes me feel... better. Not tonight. It reminds me of the cold empty bed.

I need my Ja-

{Transmission Terminated.}


	9. Chapter 9

Stardate 35554  
I woke from stasis in the arms of my engineer. My mind swarmed with emotions, relief and rage being first and foremost. I kissed him ferociously, waking him as well.  
“Don’t you do that to me ever again.” I whispered dangerously.  
“Never.” He promised, then kissed me smoothly. He tasted surprisingly little like burnt ozone. Instead, a flavor not unlike licorice reigned.

This evening marks the first time I've gone to the rec room in several stellar cycles. Jackie always used to get me my rations.


	10. Chapter 10

Stardate 35555

‘I’m fine,’ he says. ‘I don’t need a checkup,’ he says. Well I’m getting in those systems, one way or another.

I’m worried. I think he has a virus…


	11. Chapter 11

Stardate 35556

Jack still won’t let me in, but he’s acting normal, so I suppose self-repair took care of it.


	12. Chapter 12

Stardate 35558

A mech was carried into medbay today. At first, I didn't notice who it was, but once he was stable I noticed the helm fins and red and green pin striping. How?

I handed the mech off to Grapple to finish.

A few hours later, Jazz found me locked in my office, curled in a ball on the floor.  
“Ratchet?” he said tenderly, “Is there something you want to get off your chest?”

“What’s real? Am I still in stasis? How do I know?” I asked in defeat.

“Why do you ask?” Jazz probed, full of concern and innocence born of naivete.   
“I kissed him, Jazz. Our first kiss, and I don’t even know if it was really him…”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“Five nights. I've slept with him for five nights since we woke on earth. The first morning I woke with him, the morning I came out of stasis, I kissed him for the first time. This morning, someone pulled him out of the rubble. I don’t know who to trust, and I don’t know how to sort this mess out.” I stared at him with teary optics.  
“First of all, you can trust me.” I doubted him, but listened to his plan and went willingly when he sent me to recharge.

I laid between my second and third in command tonight, but it didn't help. When I found a moment of sleep, it was riddled with cold nightmares.


	13. Chapter 13

Stardate 35559

I did. I kissed Makeshift. But now I have my Jackie, my REAL Jackie.  
I lined the pair up.  
“Now,” I declared, “there’s two ways to do this. I can forcefully dig into your CPU and take the information I seek. OR. You can answer a single question.”  
The false Wheeljack said the question sounded good, and real one agreed.

My question was this: What is the most important word?

The real Wheeljack stared at his counterpart, heightening the pressure. He came up with a poor guess, wrench. My Wheeljack smiled.

“Always, Ratchet. ALWAYS.”

I smiled in relief, stretched my hand out to him and opened a port in my wrist. He took my hand in just the right way. I pulled him close, aligning our wrists. His plug slid into me as perfectly as his mind did. {I knew you would know it was me.}  
{MINE.} I pressed my lips possessively against his.  
{Yours.} He melted against me.  
I turned away from Wheeljack momentarily. “You.” My optics dimmed in anger as he shifted back to his primary form, full of spikes and sharp spines. He lowered his head in submission and, it seemed, sadness.

“Why?”

Both mechs looked at me in confusion. “Why did you impersonate my Jack?”  
“I was… lonely. When the ship crashed, I instinctively shifted into something near me which just happened to be you, Wheeljack. After I realized I was the first one up, and that the cons left me, I figured I could be with you. Until Jack woke, at least..." Makeshift spoke softly, with a silky voice.  
"Why were you alone? There must be plenty of mechs on the Nemesis looking to... take advantage of your particular skill set?"  
"Exactly. Most of them wanted to live out rape fantasies." I could hardly believe the steadiness in his voice, the calmness with which he spoke of the atrocity. "You wouldn't believe the number of mechs who appreciate your frame. Jazz even comes second to you. But none of them _want_ me. I never get the warmth that you take for granted."  
"I don't." I insisted. Of course I couldn't tell him if he was going to go back to that Pit-hole , so I had to ask. "Will you stay?"  
He scoffed, "Does anyone want me here?"  
"I do, and Pit take anyone who says otherwise."

Neither of us were left alone again.

 

Epilogue  
-NOTE  
These were used with permission. Ratchet has not attempted to kill himself since. I'm not even sure he would have gone through with it, had Wheeljack not been there. He already hadn't gone through with it 5-6 times before this. Ratchet still works on injured mechs, but if you all ask him now, he operates on mechs lucky enough to survive, and stupid enough to get injured. He never lets up on the Lambo Twins and their 'Jet Judo'. Wheeljack blows himself up less often, and Makeshift (now going by Mirage) is one of our best Spec Ops mechs.

-Smokescreen

\--PS I'm glad Ratchet finally found something worth living for, even if it took him several thousand years. (Ha.)


End file.
